Sensitive, Not Broken: Reclaiming Nervous System Regulation After Childhood Parentification

Understanding how parentification in childhood impacts the nervous system—and how somatic therapy can help Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) heal.

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What Is a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)?

Have you ever felt overwhelmed in a crowded room or deeply affected by the emotions of those around you? Maybe you’ve even called yourself an empath. If so, you might relate to being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)—someone whose nervous system is more finely tuned to their environment and emotional stimuli.

This isn’t just a personality trait. For many, high sensitivity is deeply rooted in early life experiences that shaped how their nervous system responds to the world. And often, that story begins in childhood.

What Is Parentification?

Parentification is when a child is expected to take on adult roles or responsibilities—emotionally or practically—within their family system. This can happen in households affected by stress, illness, divorce, trauma, or unmet caregiver needs.

Instead of receiving consistent support, the child becomes the caretaker: the peacekeeper, the emotional regulator, the one who “keeps it all together.”

How Parentification Affects Nervous System Regulation

From birth, our nervous system relies on co-regulation—especially from an attuned caregiver. But when you grow up navigating adult emotions and responsibilities before you’re developmentally ready, your nervous system may stay in a chronic state of alertness.

Personally, I was raised by a single mother who carried a lot of stress around finances and relationships. From an early age, I learned to tune into her shifting moods, unconsciously taking on the role of emotional regulator—reading between the lines and managing feelings that felt too big or chaotic.

Does that sound familiar?

You may find yourself adjusting your behaviour to avoid conflict, sensing the tension in a room before anyone speaks. Over time, this rewires the nervous system to prioritize threat detection over safety. It becomes harder to feel safe—even when you are.

Stress in the womb, medical interventions, early separation from caregivers, or inherited trauma patterns can also shape this sensitivity. And sometimes, there’s no clear event—you just know you feel things deeply.

Nervous System Dysregulation vs. Regulation

When the nervous system is dysregulated, it’s stuck in a loop of fight, flight, or freeze responses—even during everyday stressors. This can show up as:

• Chronic anxiety or overwhelm
• Hypervigilance or emotional reactivity
• Trouble feeling calm or grounded
• Disconnection or dissociation

The good news? The nervous system can heal.

As nervous system health educator Irene Lyon puts it:

“Sensitivity can be a gift if your nervous system is regulated. It’s almost like having a superpower. We can be aware of everything in our environment but don’t perceive it as a danger. Instead, we take it in with balance and regulation, allowing for deeper connection to the world around us.”

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How Somatic Therapy Can Help Highly Sensitive People Heal

The nervous system is adaptable. Thanks to neuroplasticity, we can revisit early experiences and gently rewire our patterns. This doesn’t mean reliving trauma—but rather building felt experiences of safety, trust, and self-regulation.

Somatic therapy helps us do just that. These body-based practices invite us to explore stored emotions and physical sensations, guiding us out of survival mode and into greater presence and resilience.

If you identify as an HSP, your sensitivity is not something to fix—it’s a gift waiting to be fully realized. By working with the body, we can restore balance and reconnect with our inner calm.

To learn more, explore our guide on somatic therapy exercises and techniques.

Sensitive, Not Broken

You are not too much. You’re not broken.

You were shaped by circumstances that taught your body to stay alert. And with the right support, your nervous system can learn to feel safe again.

If you're ready to explore this healing process, consider working with a therapist who specializes in somatic therapy. First Session can help you find a licensed somatic therapist in your province.

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